is this autism or something else

[Anonymous]

#3653

Note: SFTAH transferred this from old data base when site was updated, thus date and name lost, all dates 2006 & 2007 changed during changeover to odd dates.my son was assesed for autism a few years ago but didnt meet enough of criteria.Had areas of concern lack of social skills taking literal meanings noise sensitivity never had they met such a disintrested in life child at odds with the inteligence tests.Well now he has moved up to senior school and every teacher had something negative to say one even made me feel like a child abuser-your son is a very unhappy child he never smiles is distant lacks concentration aloof aloner deliberately refuses to do work well within his capabilities all his marks are varied cant work him out odd a loner works okay on one to ones works in groups but never seems part of the group difficult to read his emotions etc what would you like to tell me .Please advise they want him to be refered back to specialist .But got impression they were thinking unhappy naughty boy not possible autism your views most welcome

[Anonymous]

#4770

Jules what does HE say? My son is about 12 and for many years we have been able to have conversations with him, at his age , about how he feels, how he mixes ,how does he get on with his friends, is he happy, is he coping, how is work etc etc etc. Do you have those kinds of conversations with your son|? Does he bring friends home and if not is there a reason. How does he interact with them? Does he seem unhappy to you? Does he mix and interact well at home and with your friends? Can you have this type of converstaion with your son ? If not is that in itself a problem? You have talked about how your school seem to see him but what do you think ? Is he happy, focussed and contented at home? It could be one of many thngs but you have only talked about how the school see him and that could be a simple problem at school. Is there any reason why you haven’t said how he seems to be to you ? Regards Deborah

[Anonymous]

#4772

Hi deborah, he says he is happy at home,he isnt happy at school because he gets bullied,he says he does have older friends,but dont think this is entirely true,doesnt know how to make friends this is obvious from talks we have had in the past,he says he doesnt smile because he feels that he looks stupid and people already call him odd strange pupils-but teacher also mentioned he seemed odd. He never plays actively with friends ie he made two friends at primary school they come to special needs youth club but he often goes off to games room to play on x box,leaving them to play elsewhere and we have simular problems at home if he invites them around.

[Anonymous]

#4771

Hi Jules, I think it is very sad that his teachers seem to be viewing his behaviour at school negatively – and that they do not seem to be addressing the fact that he is unhappy and feels he is being bullied. It sounds from what you say as though you feel he has problems in terms of his social skills and in that case maybe a full assessment would be of help to all of you? It is very hard for a child to be trying his best to fit in and yet be blamed when it is not something he is very successful at. Have you read Luke Jacksons book to see if any of that fits how your son beahves/feels. I am not any kind of an expert Jules but if it were my child I would be fighting to get him support that helps him feel valued and worthwhile. All the things you describe could be aspergers, but could they also be a boy who has absolutely no confidence left. Having been bullied myself there is nothing that will make a child more isolated. regards Deborah

[Anonymous]

#4773

Kids are so unfair; they single out the one person who is slightly different and use them for entertainment to make them feel better about themselves. How would they like to be picked on for something that is not their fault? Jules, I wish your son could make his classmates feel odd, because autistic kids are the most pure, honest kids you will ever find.

[Anonymous]

#4774

I would ask that you ask for the ADOS (autistic diagnostic observational scale) to be done.it works well with diagnosisng HFA and aspergers which is where you child is on the spectrum.more information can be found here along with many other diagnostic tools they may use.http://autismandaspergersinthefamily.freeforums.org/post239.html?hilit=diagnostic%20scales#p239

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