Hi, I think my brother has AS but no one seems to be bothered. HELP?

[Anonymous]

#4358

So my brother is just about to turn 15, and I'm pretty sure he has some form of Autism. He had tests for Dyspraxia and he tested positive but that seems to have been put to one side as though he will get over it. But I'm not sure it is dyspraxia. He is currently in Foster Care like I was until recently so there isn't a lot I can do because although I have told social services my concerns they don't seem to care, or they just don't want to know. My parents seem to be the same. My mother has ME and she only really seems concerned with that, I think she knows that he has some sort of Autism but I think she chooses to ignore it. I can't be sure. I think up until now I have chosen to ignore it too. I only really started to take notice after I started to teach sports to children of all disabilities as part of my college course. Of all the children there, there was one that was very similar to my brother. And I spoke with his carer just to ask what his disability was and she said he had aspergers syndrome. I have avoided any sites that tell you the symptoms just because I think whatever I read I will rationalise to fit his personality. I though it would be easier to state the things that seem out of the ordinary about him and see if anyone here can tell me if I'm onto something or if I am just seeing problems that aren't there. So far the things that I have noticed that are, well I don't want to say "not normal" because I guess to him they are normal. But the areas that have concerned me are:His attention span is terrible. Almost all the time when we are talking he will just stare blankly at me and although he looks like he is listening, I can just tell he isn't. It's like his body is listening, but his mind is elsewhere. I know this sounds minor, but he just can't keep focused. He'll pick things up and start playing with them rather than listening. He interrupts all of the time. But when I point out that it is rude to not listen he just doesn't acknowledge he is doing something wrong. So he just continues to ignore me. And this isn't just when we are disagreeing on something. He can ask me a question and then just switch off whilst I am answering. Another thing would be his nosiness. Again this could be nothing. But he constantly has to be examining things. Today when he visited for example, I was playing a game of FIFA and he was waiting until I was finished. And he started going through my things. Every time he visits I tell him to ask before he goes through things, but every time he just looks at me like I'm the one in the wrong for not wanting him to go through my stuff. And although I know he remembers me telling him not to previously, it just doesn't click. It's like the conversation never took place, or he never took it seriously. But while I was trying to get my passport off him today he was straight away turning around before he had released it and looking for something else to pick up. It's like he constantly needs something to occupy himself with. His rage is one of the biggest ones. Generally it spans from him being stubborn. He has always been stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something that is it. He won't do it. There is no talking him round. In fact we've found the only way to get him to do something is by using the "Well then we are leaving without you." line. Or words to that effect. But sometimes he just generally can't do something, but rather than asking for help he acts stubborn and then as we become more annoyed by him seemingly refusing to do things he can become more angry and quite often violent. He will literally turn into a different person. There have been so many times, mainly when we were younger when he would lash out at me and I would need to restrain him until he was calm. And it usually ends with him crying because he knows he has done something wrong, but he doesn't fully understand what he did wrong or why he did it. All he can ever respond with is "I don't know". A bigger one is his speech. My brother has always had speech problems. It was worse when he was younger but it seems to have overall gotten better but generally it fluctuates depending on his mood. Today when we were talking about whether our parents could hear us talking he kept saying "How sick are these" and pointing at the walls. I didn't understand until he explained and I realised he was meant to be saying "How thick are these". He has a habit of pronouncing his TH's as D's also. I know a lot of people who do this, but it is very pronounced when he says it. He has since he could talk though. He also stutters a lot. Sort of like someone with tourettes or something like that, and you can see in his face that it is frustrating him because he is trying to get out the words but he just can't. I think what annoys him more is that a lot of people (mainly my parents and his foster parents) try to rush him and start guessing at the word he is trying to day. Whereas if you leave him he will generally get there eventually which is what I prefer to do. He is very energetic when he speaks as well. Sometimes he can be quite physical. If he is talking about a violent scene or moment then he will generally act it out but he doesn't seem to gauge his strength and he has been known to accidentally hurt people without meaning to just through sheer clumsiness. But he acts out a lot. Since he was a baby he has had an obsession with his ears. If he eats something hot he has always, and continues to cover his ears straight away in a "hear no evil" manner. He is just generally very energetic when he speaks. His interests concern me. He generally only has any time for movies, playstayion or mechanics. He loves lego and playing violent games. But generally everything else he doesn't care for in the slightest. He doesn't even pretend to be interested. If you start talking about say football he ignores you. But he can talk forever about playstation games or battles he made up with his lego characters. Which is fine. I don't mind what he enjoys. But firstly he plays so much playstation. When he plays it you can't get any of his attention without giving him a nudge and talking to him loudly, and even then he is still locked onto it, he will just tilt his head as though he is going to listen to you and then continue to ignore. His eyes are always bloodshot from playing computer games. So bad it actually irritates him and he has to have eye drops. He is actually pretty intelligent but because he has no interest in his studies he is failing everything just through lack of effort. All he wants to do is get home and play his playstation. He has no time for anything else. One of the things that worries me most is his inability to say no to people. I have spoken to him about his disabilities and he always wants to talk to someone, and when I tell him he needs to tell his foster parents, he refuses. He thinks they will be angry with him. He will never do anything he thinks will upset other people. Which is strange considering how stubborn and violent he can be. But I worry about how easy it will be for other people to lead him astray because he doesn't have many friends. In fact the last of his friends stopped talking to him because everyone at his school thinks he is weird. So I worry that if some idiot decided to try and make him do stupid things, he will just because he wants friends and he doesn't like saying no. I guess all of these could be minor. But lord knows there are more, but for some reason I can't seem to put pen to paper as it were. I don't want him to be diagnosed with Aspergers. But I think there has to be a reason for his behavioural problems and Aspergers is the one that most closely fits the bill in my mind. Another factor I thought could be that as a child my brother did die. His brain was starved of oxygen for over 8 minutes before he was resuscitated, so some of his disabilities could be a form of dementia from that. I don't know if autism and dementia are one and the same or if they share any common ground. Hopefully someone could explain for me. Another factor was the carer I met told me that Aspergers is more common if people who have bipolar parents. My dad is bipolar and was only recently diagnosed despite being bipolar since his teens. So I'm not sure if that would make it more likely. I think it sounds like I want him to have Aspergers. I don't. It's just that if he has some sort of Autism I'd like to know who to talk to and what I can do to make sure he gets the support he needs. Especially as he is headed towards the defining years of his life and I feel like if he doesn't have some sort of support or at the very least other people understand his condition than it could have quite a bad affect on the rest of his life. So if anyone could help it would be great. Even if you can just give me some contacts. I have a few but I have to wait until Monday for the offices to open. So if you know of anyone I could talk to sooner or if you just have some general advice that would be nice. If someone could help me clarify the characteristics I listed it would be brilliant. I feel like it is Aspergers. But I could be completely wrong.

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