Autism and Dating

[Anonymous]

#4104

Hi, I really need as much help as I can. Bear with me because I have written an essay! I am looking for social groups in my area (sutton, surrey) other than mencap that caters for high functioning autistic ADULTS, but not as high functioning as Asperger's. I have an older brother (soon to be 25 years of age) who has high functioning autism, or so Im led to believe. He is definately autistic but the level at which to place him is difficult as he shows empathy towards other people to some extent (except for crying children, he finds it funny and gets overwhelmed with the desire to tease them). In some aspects of his life he shows his autism through his unability to start a proper conversation and has trouble stringing words together to form a proper sentence. He finds it difficult to understand who, what, why, where and how questions and we often have to explain things in lame man's terms. However, he is fully aware of his difficulties which makes this the toughest thing for the family but especially for him. It's as though he knows what he wants to say but cannot express it, so usually gets frustrated. The 'normal' part of him wants live like the people he sees around him, he wants to live with friends, although complains about wanting "normal friends and not handicap", he wants to travel but gets upset when we dont go on holiday because he doesnt understand that it costs money, and when we mention we cannot afford it tells everyone he meets that he is poor, which is clearly not true and can be quite embarrassing. And he doesnt understand when I go on holiday with my boyfriend who has paid for it, why he cannot go and finds it unfair. But the most upsetting thing for him is not having a girlfriend. For years he has been obsessing about getting a girlfriend but due to his high standards (must be blonde, tall, pretty and 'normal'), the fact that he is currently attending a social group that is not high functioning enough for him ( the majority are Down's syndrome) and his communication difficulty almost makes it impossible. We have tried getting his mind off it but as he gets the older the more uspetting it becomes for him. He has recently mentioned how he wishes he wasn't disabled and was a normal person, often asking my mum what is wrong with him. Im writing this in desperate need of help as I am worried about is mental wellbeing. Its almost as though he's gone into a depressive state, always tearful and now feeling isolated. He says no one talks to him. He tries to join in our conversations but cannot contribute and when he does it isnt relevant to the topic, and when we ask what he wants to talk about he talks about not having a girlfriend, which after 5 years of having the same conversation every minute of the day, it does grow wearisome. So please, anyone who has had the patience to read this, please lend a helping hand. Im worried for my brother and scared that he will live an unhappy, lonely life.

[Anonymous]

#5521

Hi, don't know if you're still in touch with this website but i have just read your post and I can totally identify. I was searching for autism dating websites for my 25 year old autistic brother when I came across your post. It's like you're talking about the same person. It's heartbreaking to watch someone so close to “normal” want the same things as other people without autism. So frustrating. If I find anything online that might be of use I'll post it for you!!Have you seen...."disabledpeopledate.com".....I know they can be dodgy but it appears to include autistic people, and may be worth a try, it may provide some hope and normality for your brother.

[Anonymous]

#5522

Re: Autism and Dating « Reply #1 on: October 04, 2010, 11:05:10 PM » Quote

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Hi, don't know if you're still in touch with this website but i have just read your post and I can totally identify. I was searching for autism dating websites for my 25 year old autistic brother when I came across your post. It's like you're talking about the same person. It's heartbreaking to watch someone so close to "normal" want the same things as other people without autism. So frustrating. If I find anything online that might be of use I'll post it for you!!

[Anonymous]

#5523

I hear you there, in the same boat as your brother :-

[Anonymous]

#5524

It is very interesting to date with a girl.

[Anonymous]

#5525

Does anyone know if there is any link between group B strep and Autism?I was a carrier when I was pregnany with my son and was given a shot before c-section. I have always thought about this and if maybe there is some link there? With my other children before my son I was never a carrier and they do not have autism.

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