I work for the Autism Family Support Team in Northamptonshire – not sure where you come from.
We work with families and children with ASD who experience many of the concerns you have.
We help to address these issues and try to change or modify behaviours with the use of visual and physical structure using the TEACCH approach.
People with ASD are generally concidered to be poor verbal learners and good visual learners and therefore TEACCH works very well and can be extremely effective as it works using the positive features and strengths of ASD – trust me it might not seem so now but there are positives.
It is difficult to offer suggestions on all the areas you are struggling with at once but if you could like some advice on any one of them please let me know.
Can I suggest that you keep a diary type record of you child’s behaviour if you are having problems getting professionals to ‘hear’ you. It only needs to be short notes. Many of our families have found this useful so that they have the information and evidence at hand when asked about their child. t is often quite daunting when you are in a room with a load of professionals and they are almost asking you to ‘prove’ your child has ASD. Having the information at hand listing the behaviours and, importantly the frequency of these behaviours, has made many of our parents feel empowered.