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Jo,
In response to your post on 10/21/06 (I know… better late than never). When my son was diagnosed I initially did a lot of reading. There was a moment when I felt like I needed to reference this diagnosis in an attempt to help people see him in a different light. No, he is not a child who is out of control, or needs discipline, or is malicious…he is a beautiful child trying to make sense of how things work, and expressing his distress at not being able to do so. I find what works for me is to avoid situations he cannot be successful in and when he is having a difficult time I just hold him. He goes from being rigid and anxious (or even angry) to a puddle of vulnerability. People take their cues from you; showing love through the worst of it will go so much farther than any other technique. This is true with my son at least. He has a very strong sense of self and dignity-preserving that is part of what makes our relationship so dear. I would love to hear how you are doing. My son is 14, in the throes of puberty, and struggling with the usual ugliness of his peers. (and they can be ugly)